Confusion of the normal-truncated order!

Living in a poor country is terrible indeed, especially in a city where there is no limit to the amount of shit you can face. These conditions that constitute much of the poor society is a very serious constraint for someone trying to build up his life from scratch. But given this era of revolutionary telecommunication inventions and innovations, how much suffering do we really need to go through.?

Frankly I started this article few weeks ago, but I couldn’t make up my mind about what exactly I was confused of. All I know is that the fact that I live in a poor, nearly-failed country, is stressful enough. However, ever since I embraced the dark truth of this life, of this world, and more importantly its insignificance, I started to loosen up, and eventually ignore this article and focus on my research work. Today though, I realized what I have been working on months ago is simply a dead end. I couldn’t figure out some very important part of my contribution which led me back to write about how confused I am.

When I think about it I don’t see myself as confused as this article suggests, the name of the article is just inspired from the famous Ugandan meme. Rather, I feel a little regret that I wasn’t working in my full capacity since march. In fact I quit my job before a very important project just to get my thesis done. And look to what it got me.

I cannot put the frustration I feel into words. And I should not try to. It doesn’t matter, nothing really does. All I can do is not think about the chemical reactions in my brain raising my Cortisol levels. Rather, I need to think whether I want to make a serious contribution or just finish my master’s this month(24days to go). Because frankly If I simply go on to provide a simple application instead a major methodological contribution, I can end this thesis this month, otherwise it will be a hard task to do.

Again, I don’t care what you the reader think, or comprehend from all of this, this is merely a procrastination activity. Also I still am working on my writing skills. In my case, procrastination, is also work. How efficient is that.?

To link this with the first paragraph: I thought of this thesis as a way out, a piece of valuable scientific content, for me, and for others. But now this thought is degenerating with every seconds that goes by. This is so important to me to the extend that it led me to rethink my place in the social hierarchy, and my future in this poor failed state. putting my nihilism aside, this is very scary and needs to be fixed in these coming days or I will have to re-plan everything else for the coming year with nothing in hand but my broken ego, and my broke ass.

I am about to break, I need to finish this thesis, and keep a good quality at the same time, BEFORE THE END OF THE MONTH.